Fables for the Fair/Fable 8
THE WOMAN WHO MADE A GOOD WIFE
THE WOMAN WHO MADE A GOOD WIFE
THERE was once a Woman whose Fiancé was Exceedingly Particular.
"Before I Establish You as the Eternal Arbitress of my Destiny," he said, "I should like you to Tell me Truly to what you Owe your Beautiful Complexion. I have a Deep—seated Horror of all Artificial Aids to such Beauty."
"I Know Nothing of Them,” she replied, "Nor am I quite Certain, in Fact, to What you Refer. I rely on a Careful Diet, Regular Hours, Out-door Exercise, and Pears' Soap, which I have found Matchless for the Hands and Complexion."
"Say no More!" he Cried, "but Name the Day. I have been Looking for you All my Life."
One Day after they had been Married for Some Time, he Found in his Wife's Room a large Box filled with Retiring Lotion, Face Bleach, Indian Balm, Pearl Powder, and Honey and Almond Cream. "What may These Be?" he asked in Amazement and Disgust.
"These," his Wife replied Blushingly, "I Sell to the Unfortunate Women who are Addicted to the Use of such Vile Stuff, and When I have Sold a Sufficient Quantity I Get, by means of the Coupon System, either a Lady's Safety or a Hunting Case Gold Watch. Which will Save you the Expense of Buying One for Me."
Tears rose in the Man's Eyes. "I have Not Deserved so Much," he said Feelingly. "Not only does my Wife Scorn all Adventitious Aids to her Toilet, but she Considers my Salary as well as my Tastes. I will Give you your Choice of the Articles you have Mentioned, and Borrow the Money to Buy it." And he was as Good as His Word.
This teaches us that Handsome Is n't unless Handsome Does.