Improbability, or, The batchelor's dislike to a married life/The Improbability; Or, The Batchelor's Dislike to a Married Life

The Improbability; Or, the Batchelor's
Diſlike to a Married Life.

AS I was a muſing in a grove,
all by myſelf as I ſuppos'd,
My mind did oft-times me remove,
but by no means could be compos'd;
At length by chance a friend I met,
which caus'd me long time to tarry,
Of me ſhe did intreat to tell her,
when I had a mind to marry.

When ſaffron grows on every tree,
and ev'ry ſtream flows milk and honey,
When ſugar grows in carrot fields,
and uſurers refuſe money;
And countrymen for judges ſit,
and Michaelmas falls in February,
When millers do their toll forget,
O then my love and I'll be married.

When Shrove-tide falls in Eaſter-week,
and Chriſtmas in the month of July,
When lawyers plead without a fee,
and taylors they deal juſt and truly;
When all deceit is quite put down,
and truth by all men is preferred,
When indigo dyes red and brown,
O then my love and I'll be married.

When men and beaſts the ocean plow,
and fiſhes in green fields are feeding,
When cockle ſhells in the ſtreets do grow,
& ſwarms upon dry banks are breeding,
When muſle ſhells for diamond rings,
and glaſs to gold may be compared,
When gold is made of grey gooſe wings,
O then my love and I'll be married.

When women know not how to ſcold,
& Dutchmen leave off drinking brandy,
When cats do bark, and dogs do mew,
and brimſtone's ta'en for ſugar candy.
When Whitſuntide it does fall
all in the month of January,
When Coblers work without an awl,
O then my love and I'll be married.

When candleſticks do ſerve for bells,
and frying-pans do ſerve for ladles,
And in the ſea they dig for wells,
and porrage-pots do ſerve for cradles:
When all maids prove true to their loves,
and a man on his back an ox can carry,
And when the mice with the cat do play,
O then my love and I'll be married.