Little Mr Bouncer and His Friend Verdant Green/Chapter 4
CHAPTER IV.
LITTLE MR. BOUNCER TROUBLES THE HON. BLUCHER BOOTS FOR AN EXPLANATION.
HE room into which little Mr. Bouncer passed was not a room that was "hung around with pikes and guns and bows," like to that of the famous Fine Old English Gentleman of the national song, but it was furnished after the fashion of a room belonging to a young English gentleman of the modern time—more especially of that particular species of gentleman which is known as the Oxford Undergraduate. There certainly were "bows" in the room; for archery was then in fashion, especially at those colleges that possessed extensive lawns; and the Hon. Blucher Boots, as befitting a son of Lord Balmoral, was not to be behind in the fashions of the day. But, instead of "pikes and guns," there were pipes and meerschaums arranged on either side the fireplace, on fanciful shields carved and emblazoned by Margetts. And there were numerous sporting prints, and coloured hunting scenes, and Landseer's animals, and pretty feminine inanities, all in elegant gilt frames, from Ryman's or Wyatt's; and there were handscreens and fancy articles in papier maché, on which the artists of Messrs. Spiers and Son had drawn the glories of Oxford from their most picturesque points of view; and there were Parian statuettes, and vases, and china; and there were handsomely-bound volumes on rows of oaken book-shelves; and there were two or three pairs of antlers (convenient for the support of riding-whips, walking-sticks, and such like), the owners of which had fallen to Mr. Blucher Boots' unerring rifle, at Glenslipper, his father's shooting-box in Perthshire.
The furniture of the room was an evidence that the occupant was a person of æsthetical tastes; and that he was either wealthy or was in a position to obtain unlimited credit for the various articles that he had gathered around him. If the son of a Commoner has facilities for doing so, the son of a Peer finds himself indulged to an extent that is seductive and dangerous; and Oxford tradesmen are almost the last persons who should be blamed for the evils of the credit system. Very often they themselves are the sufferers, and find that they have fallen victims to one who is, legally, "an infant."
The Hon. Blucher Boots himself was one of these legal infants, and, physically speaking, was a tolerably fine specimen of the infant race. When, in compliance with his call "Come in!" little Mr. Bouncer entered his room, he was sitting in one of his numerous easy-chairs, "in gorgeous array," like Villikins' Dinah, with a scarlet Turkish fez on his head, and a crimson-and-blue-striped dressing-gown belted round his waist, the while he smoked a short black pipe and consulted a "Racing Calendar." He was by no means an ill-looking young man, although during his interview with Mr. Bouncer, his countenance could assume an expression that was the very reverse of prepossessing.
"Good morning!" said little Mr. Bouncer, as he closed the door behind him. "I 'm lucky to find you in; and not only in, but alone."
"The luck 's all on your side," sharply rejoined the other, who seemed to sniff a coming breeze.
"Then I 'll make the most of my luck," said the intruder, as he flourished his battered cap by its tassel. "My name is Bouncer on the Grampian Hills, and also in Oxford—see Gazetteers and County Directories, passim. Henry Bouncer is my name; England is my nation; Brazenface is my dwelling place. You may have heard of me in the pages of History, although you don't seem to know me."
"Don't know you from Adam," said Mr. Blucher Boots, stolidly.
"Did you mention the name of Adam? I 'm not acquainted with that party, so can't tell if there 's any likeness between us," replied little Mr. Bouncer.
"You 're a cool card," observed Mr. Blucher. Boots, as he puffed, somewhat savagely, at his short black pipe.
"Perhaps so. I was n't born in a hurry; so I 've had time to look about me. But sitting 's as cheap as standing; so, if it 's all the same to you, I 'll sit down while we have our talkee-talkee—unless you charge for your chairs, like those fellows do in the Park; a penny to sit down on one, tuppence to put up your legs on another, and no reduction on taking a quantity."
As Mr. Blucher Boots kept silence and went on smoking, little Mr. Bouncer sat down, and said, "You could remember me, I dare say, if you chose to do so. We met; 't was in a crowd—at Fosbrooke's rooms—and I thought you had done me; I 've come, and you don't move, though your eye is upon me. I 'd my eye upon you, that night; for I dropped the best part of a fiver to you, at Van John, when you were slightly lucky in turning up aces."
"Do you mean to insinuate"began Lord Balmoral's son, with a flushed face and angry scowl.
"Oh, dear, no! don't put yourself about, and get waxy, and make yourself as red as your fez; I don't insinuate anything," said Mr. Bouncer. "Some people have a certain person's luck; and that seemed to be your case. But, it was not so much the aces as the betting. You 're a first-rate hand at laying odds; I 'll
give you credit for that; for I like to give every man his due. And that 's the business that 's brought me here. I think you know a Brazenface man of the name of Verdant Green?"
"A Freshman?"
"Something like one. He is a particular friend of mine."
"I can't compliment you upon your acquaintance," sneered Mr. Blucher Boots.
"Never mind that; I don't care for empty compliments," replied little Mr. Bouncer, sticking up for his absent friend. "Verdant Green 's not at all a bad sort, though a trifle fresh—as you have found out. And, to come to the point, it seems to me that you have been taking an undue advantage of his freshness and inexperience."
"I don't know by what right you intrude into my rooms, and read me a lecture," said Mr. Blucher Boots. "But before I kick you out"
"Kick me out?" echoed Mr. Bouncer. "Two can play at that game, my beauty; and I don't think your shoemaker will ever become acquainted with my tailor."
"you may as well enlighten me," continued Mr. Blucher Boots, puffing at his pipe, "as to the supposed advantage that I have taken of your friend's freshness."
"With all the pleasure in the world," said Mr. Bouncer. "You have persuaded my friend, Verdant Green, who knows nothing whatever about horse-racing, to make a book on the Derby, and you have taken his money to invest on a certain dark horse."
"What of that!" exclaimed Mr. Blucher Boots. "Though the horse is a comparative outsider, yet he 's entrusted with good money, and has some big bets written in his name. His stable companion has been backed for a good amount; but he 's the better horse of the two, and I have certain private information about him on which I can rely. I 've put a lot of money on him myself; and if I 've put your friend up to a good thing, I 've done him a kindness."
"I don't see it in that light," said Mr. Bouncer; "and, on Verdant Green's behalf, I have come to request you to return to him the three fivers that he handed to you."
"I decline to do anything of the kind."
"You do?"
"Most decidedly I do!" cried Mr. Blucher Boots, angrily. "And it 's like your impertinence to force yourself into my rooms and to make such a proposition."
"Very well, then, my beauty," replied little Mr. Bouncer, coolly, as he rose to leave the room; "then, having fulfilled my errand, and got my answer, I 'll go, and leave you to look out for squalls. Betting is n't allowed in college, as you are aware; and, all that 's done in that way is sub rosâ, and unknown to the Dons. In their eyes, bets on cards would be bad enough; but bets on races and books on the Derby would be looked upon as something more than peccadilloes. As you don't choose to hand back Verdant Green's three five-pound notes, I shall go at once to Dr. Portman, the Master of Brazenface, and lay the whole affair before him. I shall do the same by the Head of your own College. My friend will get off very lightly, because he's a Freshman and inexperienced, and was led on by you; but it will be a different thing with you; and if, to-morrow you don't hear something about Rustication, then my name 's not Bouncer. It 'll be a nice thing, won't it, for Lord Balmoral's hopeful son to be sent down to the country for getting a raw Freshman's money out of him? There are unkind people in the world who would, perhaps, say that it was as bad as fleecing a Freshman; but, whatever they may say, you 've only yourself to thank for it. Ta, ta! my beauty. Look out for squalls." And little Mr. Bouncer left the room.
"Hi! here! wait a moment, you sir!" called out Mr. Blucher Boots, as he went to the door of his room, after a momentary hesitation. "If your Freshman friend don't choose to avail himself of my disinterested kindness, he 's a fool for his pains. It is n't every one who could have had such a good thing offered to him. If he don't like to post his money of course he can have it back again; but he will be throwing away an opportunity that may never fall in his way again."
"I hope not, with all my heart," said little Mr. Bouncer; "so if you like to give him back the money he 'll be quite content to lose his chance of making his fortune by your investment. That 's about the size of it, I think." And they went back into the room.
"There are the notes," said Mr. Blucher Boots, as he took them out of his pocket-book; "and I hope I may never see your face again."
"That will be your loss," replied little Mr. Bouncer; "and it shows that you are no judge of pretty pictures. Your mug is none too handsome, I can tell you. But, adoo, Samivel! I 've got the three fivers, so I 'm satisfied. You can have a proper receipt for them, if you like."
The Hon. Blucher Boots made use of unparliamentary language, under cover of which little Mr. Bouncer made good his retreat, and returned to Brazenface.