and rest to me as formerly it had been. I must needs say Melendez his arguments, though most of them moved me not; yet the opportunity offered me to hide my self from all sight and knowledge of my dearest friends, stirred up in me a serious thought of an angry and harsh letter, which not long before I had received out of England from mine own Father, signifying unto me the displeasure of most of my friends and kindred, and his own grievous indignation against me, for that having spent so much mony in training me up to learning, I had not only utterly refused to be of the Jesuites Order (which was his only hopes) but had proved in my affections a deadly foe and enemy unto them. And that he would have thought his mony better spent, if I had been a Scullion in a College of Jesuites, then if I should prove a General of the Order of Dominicans; that I should never think to be welcome to my Brothers or kindred in England nor to him; that
I should not expect ever more to hear from him, nor dare to see him if ever I returned to England; but expect that he would set upon me even Jesuites, whom I had deserted and opposed, to chase me out of my Country; that Hailing house though he had lost it with much more means for his Religion during his life; yet with the consent of my eldest Brother (now Governour of Oxford and Mass-founder in that our Famous University ) he would sell it away; that neither from the Estate, or mony made of it, I might enjoy a Childs part due unto me. These reasons stole that nights rest from my body, and sleep from my eyes, tears keeping them unclofed and open, left Cynthia's black and mourning Mantle should offer to cover, close and shut them. To this Letters consideration was joined a strong opposition, which serious Studies and ripeness of Learning, with a careful discussion of some School-points and Controversies had bred in me against some chief of the Popish Tenets, Well could I have wished to have come to England, there to satisfie and ease my troubled Conscience; well considered I, that if I stayed in Spainwhen my Studies were compleatly finished, the Dominicans with a Popes Mandamus would send me home for a Missionary to my Country, But then well considered I the sight of a
