believe a man, even when one knows that one would lie in his place.
Courtroom. A place where Jesus Christ and Judus Iscariot would be equals, with the betting odds in favor of Judas.
Creator. A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. Three proofs of His humor: democracy, hay fever, any fat woman.
Democracy. The theory that two thieves will steal less than one, and three less than two, and four less than three, and so on ad infinitum; the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
Epigram. A platitude with vine-leaves in its hair.
Eugenics. The theory that marriages should be made in the laboratory; the Wassermann test for love.
Evil. That which one believes of others. It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
Experience. A series of failures. Every failure teaches a man something, to wit, that he will probably fail again next time.
Fame. An embalmer trembling with stage-fright.
