Surgeon. One bribed heavily by the patient to take the blame for the family doctor's error in diagnosis.
Temptation. An irresistible force at work on a movable body.
Thanksgiving Day. A day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Father that it is not hydrophobia.
Theology. An effort to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not worth knowing.
Tombstone. An ugly reminder of one who has been forgotten.
Truth. Something somehow discreditable to someone.
University. A place for elevating sons above the social rank of their fathers. In the great American universities men are ranked as follows: 1. Seducers; 2. Fullbacks; 3. Boozefighters; 4. Pitchers and Catchers; 5. Poker players; 6. Scholars; 7. Christians.
Verdict. The a priori opinion of that juror who smokes the worst cigars.
Vers Libre. A device for making poetry easier to write and harder to read.
Wart. Something that outlasts ten thousand kisses.
Wealth. Any income that is at least $100
