God is God. What would he not then give, to have one more year, one more month, or at least one more week, with a clear head? For suffering then, as he will do, with distraction of the head, oppression at the chest, and failing breath, he will be able to do nothing; he will not be able to reflect, nor to employ his mind in doing one good action; he finds himself shut up as it were in a dark pit of confusion, where he can imagine nothing else but that there is a great ruin hanging over him from which he feels himself unable to flee away. Therefore he will long for time; but it will be said to him, " Proficiscere," depart, make haste, put your accounts in order as best you can, during the short time which remains to you, and depart; for dost thou not know that death neither waits for, nor respects any one?
Oh what terror will it then be for him to think and to say, " I am alive this morning; very likely this evening I shall be dead! today I am lying in this room; perhaps tomorrow I may be in my grave! And where will my soul be?" When he feels the cold sweat of death coming upon him when he hears his relations go from the room, never more to return during his life when his sight begins to grow dim and his eyes become darkened but what will be the use of understanding these truths then, when the time for profiting by the understanding, is past?
Affections and Prayers.
Ah, my God, Thou dost not wish me to die; but Thou desirest that I should be converted and live. I thank Thee for having waited for me until now, and I thank Thee for the light which Thou art now giving me. I know the error I have committed in neglecting Thy friendship, the vile and miserable pleasures through which I have accounted Thee of so little value. I repent and I grieve with all my heart, for having done Thee so grievous a wrong. Ah, do not cease, in the life which may remain to me, to assist me with Thy light and Thy grace, so that I may know how to do that which I must do, in order to amend my life. Of what use will it be for me to understand this truth, when the time for reparation will be taken from me? " Deliver not up to beasts the souls that trust in Thee." When the devil shall tempt me again to offend Thee, I beseech Thee,
