was often in them like a polyp in a dim submarine water. I wrote odd things about this, fragments, half-understood by myself, almost always torn up after a few lines had been put down, and then I sat bent over the table, the end of the pen or pencil in my mouth and my eyes staring at nothing, till the fit passed. The dull or rainy weather held on almost uninterruptedly. I was somewhat relieved when the holidays were over.
With the new term came finer weather. September, the end of it, and half October were soft and beautiful. Then two or three wind-gales blew, whirling all the leaves and many twigs, and even boughs off the roaring trees: nay, pulling some trees, and not small ones, to the earth. These gales past, the 'Challenge Matches' between the several 'houses' began. I got my School House 'colours' all right, as 'three-quarters back.' I enjoyed those games. The excitement of the fellows over the stiff tussles we, School House, had with Gough's and Mason's thrilled me every now and then. A sort of viciousness and devilry came into me. I remember well how once, when Harper, after a grand run down the left side of the Mere field (we had the wall goal), got past first one back and then the other and came on at full speed, the ball not two yards before him, hurrying to pass me—the short run I took, so as to poise myself, and then how I went straight as an arrow for the ball and him. We met violently. I, half spun round: tottered: recovered myself: saw the ball, just turning, a yard or so to the right: leaped to it: kicked: saw it go right up, round, through the air, on over the heads of the yelling crowd of fellows a quarter way up the field, and then turned, to see Harper get up off his knee and move away. I could have given a shout of delight. That swift rush and violent meeting had gone into my heart and head like strong wine.
Just for the two weeks we wanted fine cold dry weather (for the Challenge Matches I mean), we had it. Then it broke up: rain took the place of the sun and warm damp the place of the cold dry. The effect upon me was evil. The sadness through all my thoughts was with me again.
One night, hot, feverish even, unable to work, I
