Page:Aelfric's Lives of Saints Vol 2.djvu/45

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page needs to be proofread.

merly received me into her favour; and I prayed, weeping before her, that she would drive away from me the foul thoughts that vexed my miserable soul. Then indeed I wept, sorrowing excessively; and, severely beating my breast, I then beheld light shining all around me; and soon after a steadfast peace came to me. Pity me now, abbot; how can I tell thee my thoughts, since I dread to compel myself again to evil living, lest extreme fire should burn within my wretched body. And when I perceived such thoughts arise within me, vexing me utterly unto the thought of uncleanness, then I prostrated myself upon the earth, and suffused my cheeks with tears, because that I had certainly trusted that I would resist (?) them; so that I [would not rise again][1] from the earth, before the sweet voice in its usual manner lighted upon me, and drove away from me my troubled thoughts. Verily I continually raised the eyes of my heart to my security in trouble, praying her to support me in this wilderness unto a right repentance — her who bare the lord of all purity. And thus, during the course of seventeen years, I was striving in every way against manifold perils, as I before said, unto this present day, and the holy mother of God aided me and directed my ways.' Zosimus said to her; ' And didst thou not want any means of subsistence or any clothing?' She answered him and said: ' For seventeen years, as I said before, I made use of the loaves, and afterwards lived upon the roots that I found in this wilderness. The raiment indeed that I had when I passed over Jordan perished, being torn asunder by extreme oldness, and after that I suffered manifold miseries, at one time from the icy coldness of winter, and at another time from the immoderate scorching of the sun's heat. I was terribly parched by the excessive burning, and again by the extreme frosty coldness of the winter; so that I often came down upon the earth, and lay almost entirely motionless without spirit. Thus was I striving long and wrestling in manifold and various hardships and in extreme temptations; and afterwards, even to this present day, the divine might preserved me and my wretched soul and body; always considering with myself, from how many

  1. Something seems missing here; the text generally is extremely corrupt, and abounds with grammatical errors.