Page:American History Told by Contemporaries, v2.djvu/314

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286
Religious Life
[1736-1737

Frid. March 4. I writ the Trustees for Georgia an account of the last year's expence from March 1, 1736, to March 1, 1737. Which, deducting extraordinary expences (such as repairing the Parsonage House, and Journeys to Frederica) amounted for Mr. Delamotte and me to 44l. 4s. 4d.

From the Directions I received from God this Day, touching an Affair of the greatest importance, I could not but observe (as I had done many times before) the entire mistake of those, who assert, "God will not answer your prayer, unless your Heart be wholly resign'd to his will."My Heart was not wholly resign'd to his will. Therefore, not daring to depend on my own Judgment, I cried the more earnestly to him, To supply what was wanting in me. And I know and am assured, He heard my Voice, and did send forth his Light and his Truth. . . .

Wednes. [May] 25. I was sent for by one who had been several years of the Church of Rome : But was now deeply convinced (as were several others) by what I had occasionally preach'd, of the grievous errors that church is in, and the great danger of continuing a member of it. Upon this occasion I could not but reflect on the many advices I had receiv'd, to beware of the increase of popery : but not one (that I remember) to beware of the increase of infidelity. That was quite surprizing when I consider'd, 1. That in every place where I have yet been, the number of Converts to popery bore no proportion to the number of the Converts to infidelity. 2. That as bad a religion as popery is, no religion is still worse ; a baptiz'd infidel being always found upon the trial, two-fold worse than even a bigotted Papist. 3. That as dangerous a state as a papist is in, with regard to eternity, a Deist is in a yet more dangerous state, if he be not (without repentance) an assured heir of damnation. And lastly, That as hard as it is to recover a Papist, it is still harder to recover an Infidel : I myself have known many Papists, but never one Deist re-converted. . . .

October the 7th I consulted my friends, whether God did not call me to return to England? The reason for which I left it had now no force : there being no possibility as yet of instructing the Indians : Neither had I as yet found or heard of any Indians on the continent of America, who had the least desire of being instructed. And as to Savannah, having never engag'd myself, either by word or letter, to stay there a day longer than I should judge convenient, nor even taken charge of the people any otherwise, than as in my passage to the heathens. I looked upon myself to be fully discharged therefrom, by