Page:Andreyev - A Dilemma (Brown, 1910).djvu/106

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98
A DILEMMA.

crawl. No one could hear me, and if caught I would say that a button came off and I was looking for it.

As long as I tried to hit upon a choice the feeling was that of contentment; it was not at all terrible, it was even pleasant; so that I recall I dangled my foot. Presently I reflected:

"But why crawl? Am I really insane?"

All at once a terrible feeling came upon me, and simultaneously I wished to do all: crawl, howl, scratch. And I became angry.

"Do you wish to crawl?" asked I. But it was silent. The desire was gone.

"No, you do wish to crawl," insisted I.

And it was silent.

"Well, crawl then!"

So, tucking up my sleeves, I went down on my fours and crawled. And when I had traversed about half of the room in this manner, the absurdity of it aroused my risibility, so I sat me down on the floor and laughed, laughed, laughed.

With my habitual and unextinguished