silly but that gives an indication of the way he felt about me: some kind of new thing in the world actually where men can really be angelic friends and not be homosexual and not fight over girls—But alas the only thing wed ever fought about was money, or the ridiculous time we fought about a little line of marijuana dust running down the middle of a page where we were separating our shares with a knife, when I objected I wanted some of the dust he yelled “Our original agreement had nothing to do with the dust!” and he slumps it all into his pocket and stalks off redfaced so I jump up and pack and announce I’m leaving and Evelyn drives me to the City but the car wont start (this is years ago) so Cody redfaced and crazy and ashamed now has to push us with the clunker, there we go down San Jose boulevard with Cody behind us pushing us and with Cody behind us pushing us and bumping us not just to give us a start but to chastise me for being so greedy and I shouldnt leave at all—In fact he’d back up and come up on our rear and really wham us—That night ending me dead drunk on Mal Damlette’s floor on North Beach—And in any case the whole question of us, the two most advanced men friends in the world still fighting over money after all being, as Julien says in New York, indication of the fact that “Money is the only thing Canucks ever fight about, and Okies too I guess” but Julien I suppose imagining and fantasizing himself as a noble Scotsman who fights about honor (tho I tell him “Ah you Scotchmen save your spit in your watchpocket” ).
Lacrimae rerum, the tears of things, all the years behind me and Cody, the way I always say “me and Cody” instead of “Cody and I” or some such, and Irwin watching us across the world night now with a bite of marvel on his lower lip saying “Ah, angels of the West, Companions in Heaven” and writing letters asking “What now, what’s the latest, what visions, what arguments, what sweet agreements?” and such.
That night the kids end up sleeping in the jeep any-
