Page:Bookofcraftofdyi00caxtiala.djvu/197

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vices, naked of grace and in mine own default; and to come to the presence of the King of all Kings, (and) unpurveyed of[1] all things that would accord with His most royal and imperial estate; — I dare not take it upon me. I should be in such dread and fear that I should not come, nor dare speak for myself. For I have prayed my Good Angel to speak for me, and he hath denied it. I have called upon Reason, Dread, and Conscienc, and they have answered me full heavily that they be loth to accuse me, but excuse me they can not; and alledgeth many a great, reasonable cause why, that I cannot say nay thereto. I have called upon my servants which were taken[2] me to rule and govern, and if they would answer for me [as I would answer for them,] and they answer me right shortly, and say : If they should say any good word for me they should not say truth of me, and casteth to me that peril, that nobody would give credence unto them if they would say well of me; but call them flatterers, false dissimulers and favourers of sin.

Alas! alas! I have heavily dispended my long life that, in all this long time (I) have not purchased me one friend to speak for me. Had our Lord, of His most ample grace, ordained me immediately after my Christendom to have died forthwith, I might say I had been born in a blessed hour. But would it please your goodness to speak for me, and understand[3] whether I shall have hardiness to make a bill to the

  1. i.e. unprovided with.
  2. i.e. given.
  3. i.e. make me understand.