Page:Budget of wit and drollery.pdf/5

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use a man in the dark;" and endeavouring to shake himself clear, when instead of slacking their hold, they took fresh and firmer holds; and no doubt used voilent language, of which his deafness deprived him of hearing; seeing all attempts to get clear fruitless, and dreading they had nothing in view but an intention to rob him; it instantly occurred to him his having an ear trumpet sticking in the top of his boot, which he used in conversation, he immediately pulled it up, laid the muzzel of it aeross the fellow's arm, and exclaimed, "if you don't let go your grups, I'll blaw your brains out in a moment!" they jumped over a hedge, and were out of sight in an instant, the deaf man called after them, set aff, set aff, my lads, or I'll be the death o' baith o' you, learn never to middle wi' a man i' the dark, for ye dinna ken what deadly weapons he carries."

Daft Will Speirs.

Will, one day, upon his journey to Eglington castle to pay his regular daily visit, met his Lordship, who seemed not to notice him: the Earl being only on a walk of pleasure through his polices, soon came in contact with Will again sitting at the bottom of a tree, picking a huge bone; "Ay, ay," says the Earl," what this you've got noo, Will."—" Ay, ay," says Will, "anew o frien's whan folk has ocht; ye gaed by me awee sin' an' ne'er loot on ye saw me."

How to find Work.

A Slater being employed by a gentleman to repair his house in the country, took along with him a prentice: when they set to work, and continued