“C. Q.”; or, In the Wireless House
“Lots!” retorted Mrs. Trevelyan in a stage whisper. “More than I want!”
The statesman had now reached the platform amid mild applause, and, thrusting his onyx-buttoned cuff into his low-cut waistcoat, entered upon a sonorous, somewhat perspiring, and detailed history of his intimacy with the martyred President. The anecdotes were chiefly about himself with sporadic references to Lincoln. Still, the audience listened good-naturedly.
“And now I’ll tell yer,” he declared impressively, “’bout some Noo York fine-an-seers that come down to Washin’ton ter ask Ole Abe to release the gold in the treasury durin’ the gold panic. He listened patiently to ’em, and then he says: ‘Gents! You remind me o’ the farmers out in Illinois when I wuz a young feller. There wuz a hog plague out thar, an’ the hogs wuz a-dyin’ like flies. Finally a man come along and claimed he had discovered a cure—an’ he had. He said, ‘Cut off their tails and they ’ll get well.’ So the farmers cut off the, hogs’ tails and the hogs all got well. But the next year the plague come ag’in—and thar were n’t no more tails!”
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