174 CHAITANYA AND HIS AGE
to a skeleton owing to grief and fasts, and she saw him, in the words of the poet, "shaven of his beautiful curling hair, and greatly reduced he wore a kaupin as the sanyasis do, with an outer cloth hanging from his shoulders. His body was besmeared with dust and he looked like a mad man abstractly gazing at the sky and shedding tears." Then the mother said "You are going to preach religion to the world. Is desertion of a poor mother and wife a part of that religion? Behaving in this way, how can you be fit for teaching religion to others? Don't you know that I have none else in this world besides you? Return home and go on singing God's name with Sribasa and others as you used to do. I shall engage Brahmins to invest you with the sacred thread again though you have left them." Nimai seemed to be greatly moved but said "For the cause of universal good, mother, this renunciation must be made. Think of Kausalya who gave permission to Ram to go to the forest,—of Devahuti, who permitted Kapila to turn an ascetic. You and Bishnupriya will surely find me ever near you; for in spirit, good mother, I can never be far away. In your kitchen where you prepare food, you will feel my presence; for there is nothing so
- ↑ For a Brahmin who gives up his sacred thread, a penance is necessary to resume them involving the observance of some sacred rites.
