Page:Chernyshevsky.whatistobedone.djvu/46

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26
A VITAL QUESTION.

cold was so bitter, and the temptations were so overpowering. I wanted to live; I wanted to love. O God, that was no sin! Why art thou punishing me so? Deliver me from this band. Lift me out of this mire. Give me strength to become even a bad woman again in Paris; I ask of Thee nothing else: I deserve nothing else. Only deliver me from these men, from these contemptible men!"

She jumped up, and ran to the officer: "Serge, are you too like the rest? No, you are better."

"Better?" repeated the officer, phlegmatically.

"Isn't this thing contemptible?"

"It is, Julie."

"And you don't protest? You allow it? You agree to it? You share in it?

"Sit on my knee, my dear Julie." He began to caress her, and she grew calmer. "How I love you at such moments! You are a glorious woman. Now, why don't you consent to go through the marriage ceremony with me? How many times have I asked you to? Give your consent."

"Marriage? the bridle? conventionality? Never! I have forbidden you to mention such absurdities. Don't get me angry. But Serge, dear Serge, forbid him; he is afraid of you. Save her!"

"Julie, be calmer. This is impossible. If not he, then somebody else; what difference does it make? Just look here. Jean is already thinking of getting her away from him, and there are thousands of such Jeans, as you know well. It is impossible to save the daughter when her mother is anxious to sell her. 'You can't knock down a wall with your forehead,' we Russians say. We are a clever people, Julie. You see how calmly I live, accepting this Russian principle of ours."

"Never! You are a slave! The French woman is free. The French woman struggles, may fall, but still she struggles. I will not allow this. Who is she? Where does she live? Do you know?"

"I know."

"Let us go to her. I am going to warn her."

"What! at one o'clock at night? No, let us go home.—Au revoir! Jean.—Au revoir! Storeshnikof.—Of course, you will not expect Julie and me at your supper, to-morrow. You see how excited she is. And I also, to tell you the truth, don't like this business at all. Of course, my opinion has nothing to do with you. Au revoir!"