Page:Chesterton - The Club of Queer Trades.djvu/125

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Awful Reason of the Vicar's Visit

"'You ain't much of a 'and at a description, Bill,' said the man behind me. 'Mr. Shorter, it's like this. We've got to see this man Hawker to-night. Maybe he'll kiss us all and 'ave up the champagne when 'e sees us. Maybe, on the other 'and, 'e won't. Maybe 'e'll be dead when we goes away. Maybe not. But we've got to see 'im. Now, as you know, 'e shuts 'isself up and never opens the door to a soul; only you don't know why and we does. The only one as can ever get at 'im is 'is mother. Well, it's a confounded funny coincidence,' he said, accenting the penultimate, 'it's a very unusual piece of good luck, but you're 'is mother.'

"'When first I saw 'er picture,' said the man Bill, shaking his head in a ruminant manner, 'when I first saw it I said—old Shorter. Those were my exact words—old Shorter.'

"'What do you mean, you wild creatures?' I gasped. 'What am I to do?'

"'That's easy said, your 'oliness,' said the man with the revolver, good-humoredly;

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