Page:ChroniclesofEarlyMelbournevol.1.pdf/129

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THE CHRONICLES OF EARLY MELBOURNE.
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him if you could, and he fawned on and feared you; he was altogether such "a mixed lot," that it was difficult to say whether his good or bad points preponderated. T h e probability is that though his virtues were few, his vices were not numberless. After being divested of the Police Magistracy, he knew better than to discontinue his attendance at Court. H e was qualified by his franchise to act as a T o w n Magistrate, and acquired an almost irresistible influence as a Licensing Justice, from the fact that several of the early Mayors were, from their carrying on either brewing or Wine and Spirit selling businesses, debarred from interfering in cases coming under the Licensed Victuallers' Act. T h e unedifying scenes of daily occurrence in the Supreme Court, between Judge Willis and the Press reporters as well as editors, extended the contagion to the Police Court, and St. John got touched by the epidemic. It therefore amused him to be down like a small clap of thunder upon any reporter w h o spoke above his breath, laughed, or m a d e any noise in the reporters' box, or sat anywhere out of it. These funny incidents amused the people, and tickled the Major immensely, who, though he never liked being laughed at, m u c h enjoyed being laughed with. T o bellow at a reporter, c o m m a n d him to keep quiet, and threaten that he should be dragged off to the watch-house by the Chief-Constable, was a species of by-play in which St. John revelled. Take the following as a specimen :— Mr. Joseph Byrne, a reporter of the Herald, took a seat one day in December, 1841, at the table reserved for the legal practitioners in consequence of the Press box being crowded, and on being asked some question by a person during the progress of the case, was quietly replying when the Police Magistrate thus addressed him :—" I order you to leave that place at once. Hold your tongue, sir, will you, and don't disturb this Court, or I'll order you out of it. Chief-Constable, do not, in future, admit any person except legal gentlemen." T h e reporter complied without demur, and moved into the reporters' box. After the business bad concluded, the reporter, addressing the Magistrate, expressed surprise at the discourtesy shown to him, and supposed it was in consequence of some remarks on the Major's conduct, which appeared in the paper he represented. Major St. John declared it was nothing of the kind, and threatened if the journalist spoke again in Court he would have him put out. Thereupon ensued the following lively dialogue :— R E P O R T E R : " D o so at your peril. If you so insult me, I shall appeal to the Judge for protection." T H E M A J O R : " If I allow you to come into m y Court to report, I a m not to be disturbed. I will not have it, and the next time you speak I will have you turned out." R E P O R T E R : " A n d I shall not be insulted by you in the discharge of m y duties. T h e Judge will protect me, and I shall appeal to him." T H E M A J O R : " Silence, sir. I say, will you ?" R E P O R T E R : " Y o u say I a m allowed to come here; a m I to understand that it is on sufferance then ?" T H E M A J O R : " Certainly ; this is my Court, and I will not have it disturbed." R E P O R T E R : " This is a public Court of Justice, open to the public, and as such I claim and do not ask admittance. I will not be insulted by you, and shall appeal to Judge Willis." T H E M A J O R (terribly excited and in a loud voice) : " I tell you if you do not hold your tongue, I will commit you for contempt of Court." R E P O R T E R : " D o so, then, and I shall appeal for protection to the Judge, and he will give it t o — " T H E M A J O R : "Silence, sir, I tell you, immediately, or I will have you taken into custody and commit you!" R E P O R T E R : " Very well, do so, then, and I shall appeal to the Judge." T H E M A J O R : " Silence, sir; another word and I'll commit you." T h e cream of the joke is that the same Byrne w h o so readily threatened to seek protection under the aegis of Judge Willis, used to be threatened with committal by Willis for misreporting and paragraphing him in the Herald. But Byrne was soon quits with the Major. About a fortnight after the occurrence of the scene narrated, one L a m b appeared before the Court on an information charging him with sly-grog selling. H e was convicted and fined ,£30, whereupon he inveighed loudly against the decision, declaring "that he had not received justice !" T h e Major, very touchy when his impartiality was questioned, jumped up, and, looking like a hungry wolf preparing to spring upon a veritable lamb, roared out in a