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"I wish I'd known this prodigy,
This genius of the clods, when I,
On circuit, was at York residing--
Now, Farmer, do for once speak true,
Mind, you're on oath, so tell me, you
Who doubtless think yourself so clever,
Are there as many fools as ever
In the West Riding?"

"Why, no, Sir, no; we've got our share,
But not so many as when you were there."

ANON



DANIEL versus DISHCLOUT.

From Stevens Lecture on Heads, and delivered by Mr. Matthews, at
various Provincial Theatres.

We shall now consider the law, as our laws are very considerable, both in bulk and number, according as the States declare, "considerandi, considerando, considerandum;"" and are not to be meddled with by those that don't understand them. Law always expressing itself with true grammatical precision, never confounding moods, cases, or genders; except, indeed, when a woman happens to be slain, when the verdict is always brought in manslaughter. The presence of the law is altercation, for the law can altercate, culminate, deprecate, irritate, and go on at any rate. Now the quintessence of the law has, according to its name, five parts: the first is the beginning, or incipiendum; the second, the uncertainty, or dubitendum; the third delay, or puzzleendum; fourthly, replication without endum; and, fithly, nostrum and horendum. All which are exemplified in the following case:-

Daniel against D{[sc|ishclout}}-Daniel was groom in the same family wherein Dishclout was cook-maid; and Daniel returning home one day fuddled, he stooped down to take a lop out of the dripping-pan; Dishclout pushed him into the dripping-pan, which spoiled his clothes, and he was advised to bring his action against the cook-maid, the pleadings of which were as follows:- The first person who spoke was Mr. serjeant Snuffle; he began by saying, “Since I have the honour to be pitched upon to open this case to your Lord- ship, I shall not impertinently presume to take up any of your Lordship's time by a round-about circumlocutory manner of speaking or talking, quite foreign to the purpose,