Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 18.djvu/187

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THE POWER OF DARKNESS
171

Marína. There is no reason for recalling the past. What has been is no more.

Nikíta. And it will not return?

Marína. No, it will not. But why did you go away? You are the host, and you have left the wedding-feast.

Nikíta (sitting down on the straw). Why have I come away? Ah, if you only knew! I feel badly, Marína, I feel so badly that I wish my eyes did not see it all. I left the table and went away from the people, just not to look at them.

Marína (coming nearer to him). What is it?

Nikíta. It is something that neither my eating, nor my drinking, nor my sleep will make me forget. Oh, I feel so mean, so mean! But the worst thing about it is, Marína, that I have no one to share my sorrow with.

Marína. You can't live without sorrow, Nikíta. I, too, have wept much, but it has all passed.

Nikíta. You are speaking of what has been. Oh, my friend! You got through weeping, but I am all undone.

Marína. What is the matter?

Nikíta. I am tired of life. I am tired of myself. Oh, Marína, you did not know how to keep me, and you have ruined me and yourself, too. What kind of a life is this?

Marína (standing near the barn, weeping, and holding herself back). Nikíta, I do not complain of my own life. May God grant that everybody lead such a life! I confessed to my old man, and he forgave me everything. He does not reproach me for it. I cannot complain about my life. The old man is peaceable. He is good to me, and I dress and wash his children! He takes good care of me, so why should I complain? It evidently was God's fate. And how is your life? You are wealthy—

Nikíta. My life! I just did not want to disturb the wedding, or I would have taken a rope, this rope (picks up the rope from the straw),—and would have thrown it