Page:Complete Works of Count Tolstoy - 18.djvu/436

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414
THE KREUTZER SONATA

and in her face, through the physical suffering and the nearness of death, there was expressed the old, familiar, cold, animal hatred. 'The children—however—I will not give—to you— She' (her sister) 'will take them—'

"But that which to me was the most important thing, her guilt, she did not consider worth while mentioning, so it seemed.

"'Yes, enjoy your deed,' she said, looking at the door, and she began to sob. At the door stood her sister with the children. 'Yes, this is what you have done.'

"I looked at the children, at her bruised, discoloured face, and for the first time I forgot myself, my rights, my pride,—for the first time I saw the human being in her. And so insignificant seemed everything to me which had offended me, all my jealousy, and so significant what I had done, that I wanted to fall with my face to her hand and say, 'Forgive me!' but I did not dare to.

"She was silent and covered her eyes, evidently not having the strength to speak any more. Then her maimed face quivered and became wrinkled. She feebly pushed me away.

"'Why has all this been, why?'

"'Forgive me!' I said.

"'Forgive you? It is all nonsense! If only I could live!' she cried, and, raising herself a little, her feverishly shining eyes were directed toward me. Yes, you have got what you wanted!—I hate you!— Oh, oh!' she called out, evidently already in delirium, as though frightened at something.

"'Shoot! I am not afraid!— Kill everybody!— He got away!— Away!—'

"Her delirium lasted the rest of the time. She did not recognize anybody. She died that very day, at noon. Before that time, at eight o'clock, I was taken to the police station, and then to prison. While staying there