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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON
empty town, and at last they discovered that Plek hanov Street was none other than the former Govern ment Street. ' Government Street ? ’ said the cabman. ‘ Why, I’ve been taking people to Government Street for the last twenty-five years.’ But when they got to Government Street it was not Plekhanov Street, but Karl Marx Street. All night long they searched for Plekhanov Street until in exasperation Bender shouted to the cabman to take him back to ‘ The Sorbonne ’. ‘ What a man ! ’ said he. ‘ Fancy you not knowing where Plekhanov Street is ! ’ The widow Gritsatsuev’s house was as clean as a new pin. At the head of the wedding table sat Bender, the eligible King of Clubs promised by the fortune teller. He was very smartly dressed and decidedly drunk. The guests were shouting and singing. The bride was no chicken, for she was well over thirty, but Nature had been generous. She had a large bosom, a thick nose, bright red cheeks, and a big head. She adored her new husband and was very frightened of him, and because of this she did not call him by his Christian name or patronymic, but addressed him as ‘ Comrade Bender ’. Hippolyte was again sitting on his own walnut chair, and during the whole of the wedding-feast he was constantly jumping up and down to see if there was anything hard in it. Bender made endless speeches and proposed a number of toasts, including one to Public Instruction and one to the irrigation of Uzbekistan. Presently the guests began to disperse, and in the entrance hall Hippolyte whispered knowingly to Bender : ‘ Don’t waste any time ! They are there ! ’ ‘ You’re a regular taskmaster,’ said Bender, who was
