Page:Diary of a Pilgrimage (1891).pdf/306

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304
DREAMS.

originality," said the people to the critics, after that.

"Why, you are not original, when one comes to think of it, and your criticisms are not original. You've all of your been saying exactly the same thing ever since the time of Solomon. We are going to drown you and have a little peace."

"What, drown a critic!" cried the critics, "never heard of such a monstrous proceeding in our lives!"

"No, we flatter ourselves it is an original idea," replied the public, brutally. "You ought to be charmed with it. Out you come!"

So they took the critics out and drowned them, and then passed a short act, making criticism a capital offence.

After that, the art and literature of the country followed, somewhat, the methods of the quaint and curious school, but the land, notwithstanding, was a much more cheerful place to live in, I dreamt.

But I never finished telling you about the dream in which I thought I left my legs behind me, when I went into a certain theatre.

I dreamt that the ticket the man gave me for my legs was No. 19, and I was worried all through the performance for fear No. 61 should get hold of them, and leave me his instead. Mine are rather a fine pair of legs, and I am, I confess, a little proud of them—at all events, I prefer them to anybody else's. Besides, number sixty-one's might be a skinny pair, and not fit me.

It quite spoilt my evening, fretting about this.

Another extraordinary dream I had was one in which I dreamt that I was engaged to be married to my Aunt Jane. That was not, however, the extraordinary part of it: I have often known people to dream things like that.