Freiberg family. Platen frankly speaks of the affair as only a sentimental "stop-gap;" a mere reaching out of his then sorrowful and empty heart for any sort of a new intimacy that would thrill it. Platen was tolerably thrilled. But now he seems to have determined to be on his guard as to cultivating any illusions only to be undeceived in a male charmer. "D—A—" was wholly a woman-admirer, not to say already in love with one of the young ladies in the Freiberg circle. So Platen "hoped" the less from him. The interest lapsed. In Dec. 21, Platen wrote that he felt himself "cured" of "D—A—." He notes: "This is the first victory of my reason over my heart." His heart had not been possessed with much ardour. He adds: … "Never for a moment has my inclination taken on a passionate colouring—that is to say I have never, in my inmost self, wished for D—A—'s acquaintance; I have never counted it a happiness, in a word I have never loved him. How much I feel ashamed that I have allowed him to gain even so much power over me!—" etc. etc. All which is tolerably loose casuistry of the erotic impulse. There is interest in observing that Platen's "type" haunted him here again: for he says (Dec. 9) that D—A—reminded him much of a certain handsome young French officer, met at Melun.
The Diary during this Ansbach visit is full of serious self-study as to weightier matters than similisexual loves; of conclusions almost always wise. Incidentally, we find Platen here lamenting his failure as a social companion, as guest, as member of a lively general circle anywhere. In truth, not till his latest years did he shake off the self-consciousness and reserve (it never was conceit) that made him a poor foregatherer in gay, commonplace circles. Indeed Platen in such relations, as in more intimate life, stands before us as most unlucky; and also as a striking lesson of how not to make friends, how not to please. Genial temperament, natural manners, spontaneity, lightness of touch and tact are so much of the secret of making and
— 589 —
(27)
