EDWARD VII.
ACT VI.
SCENE I.—The open space in front of the Mansion House. Crowds of Citizens assembled, reading the Proclamation of War affixed to the front wall. Enter policemen, newspaper boys, stockbrokers, thieves, merchants, rogues, tradesmen, swindlers, publishers, blackguards, &c.
1st Citizen (to his right-hand man). It hath come at last then, good neighbour ; although the Thunderer did preach “Peace, peace,” even in its second edition yester noon. 2nd Citizen. Ay, ay, Master Travers; when I read that article, I went and sold out all my Turks straightway. 1st Citizen. And now that we are at war, i'faith, how think you we shall come out of it, eh? 2nd Citizen. Ah, there you ask too much of me, good sir. We shall fight well, mark you; but if it be possible to drown us on our way to the battle, or to starve us when we get there, or to send us into the fray with the wrong ammunition, or to in any way vex and hinder us, then, mark you again, the great Incapables who direct this grand country will do so at any cost. Ist Citizen. Come, come, Master Blunt, you be- wrong our Ministers there; surely with all their faults they are patriots. 2nd Citizen. Patriots! say you. Ha, ha! Pa- triots is good. Prithee tell me, neighbour, what a patriot minister is? 1st Citizen. A patriot minister, as I take it, is one who 'fore all and 'bove all, loves his country, and works for her weal. 2nd Citizen. Exceedingly well put, Master Tra- vers. Your definition does honour to your heart. But now let me have my turn at defining. I have known many Cabinet Ministers, all good patriots; but I will take me one, since they are mostly alike, and tell you in what his patriotism consists. There is my Lord Lirriper Lister, for example, the Secre- tary of State for the Torpedo Department. There is a patriot for you ! He doth indeed love his country, especially the 5,000 acres of it he doth own in Redmarlshire. So much doth he love the land of his birth that he was found only last Martinmas stealing a nice little corner off the Common of Thievendon, which is as you know in Redmarlshire too, that he might have still more of the treasured soil to love. Nor does he love the land of his birth alone. He sets his affections likewise on the coins that form part of its revenues; and having a rent-roll of £120,000 per annum, he exclaims, “Oh let me serve my dear country, for I feel so pa- triotic.” So hereupon he is put to look after the Torpedo Department, and to show he is not proud, he takes the £5,000 annually paid to the patriot who performs this duty; for he thinks it well, not only for his country to be dear to him, but for him to be dear also to his country. But his patriotism is not half satisfied yet, mark you. No, no, in the great effusion of his burning love for his country, he determines that all his kith and kin shall do something for his country too; and so it comes to pass that his sons and his daughters' hus- bands, and his nephews and his nieces’ sweet- hearts, and his wife's brothers, ay, and even his second cousins several times removed, are also patriots in a smaller degree, and all serve their country at smaller salaries. Here, then, is glorious patriotism for you, Master Travers; here you see how nobly “blue blood" sets an example to the baser sort. Is it any wonder we feel safe when we have such patriots as Lord Lirriper Lister at the helm ? But mark you—
Policeman A 1. Now then, move on, here, move on! This isn't Cogers' Hall, gentlemen ; move on!
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[Exeunt 1st and 2nd Citizens to the Green Bay Tree.
