Page:Elizabethan & Jacobean Pamphlets.djvu/237

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217
Thomas Dekker

bawdy Jester, yea and to be so deere to his Lordship, as for the excellency of his fooling, to be admitted both to ride in Coach with him, and to lie at his very feete on a truckle-bed. Let all such (and I hope the world has not left her olde fashions, but there are ten thousand such) repaire hither. Neuer knocke (you that striue to be Ninny-hammer), but with your feete spurne open the doore, and enter into our Schoole: you shall not neede to buy bookes, no, scorne to distinguish a B from a battle doore; onely looke that your eares be long enough to reach our Rudiments, and you are made for euer. It is by heart that I would haue you con my lessons, and therefore be sure to haue most deuouring stomaches. Nor be you terrified with an opinion, that our rules be hard and indigestible, or that you shall neuer be good Graduates in these rare sciences of Barbarisme, and Idiotisme. Oh fie, vppon any man that carries that vngodly minde! Tush, tush; Tarleton, Kemp, nor Singer, nor all the litter of Fooles that now come drawling behinde them, neuer played the clownes more naturally then the arrantest Sot of you all shall if hee will but boyle my Instructions in his braine-pan.

And lest I my selfe, like some pedantical Vicar stammering out a most false and crackt latine oration to maister Maior of the towne and his brethren, should cough and hem in my deliueries; by which