Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/51

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English Wit and Humour.
47

meaning, did not suppose that the elevation of the Bishop's finger was an exception to their general rule of reply to such tokens; they therefore all rose together, and from the middle of the church exclaimed in an exulting tone, "Perpendicular!"—to the astonishment and consternation of the better inclined, and to the amusement, we fear, of not a few of the congregation.

A Proof that Adam and Eve were English.

When Eve brought woe to all mankind,
Old Adam called her woe-man ;
But when she woo'd with love so kind,
He then pronounced it woo-man.

But now with folly and with pride,
Their husband's pockets brimming,
The ladies are so full of whims,
That people call them whim-men.

A Rejected Lover's Rebuke.

The following lines were sent by Dr Watts to a lady to whom he wished to pay his addresses, upon her saying that she would have no such ill-shaped fellow as he was:—

'Tis true my shape is somewhat odd.
But blaming me is blaming God;
For, had I spoke myself to birth,
I'd please the prettiest lass on earth;
And, could I form myself anew,
I would not fail of pleasing you.
Your charms have long been dear to fame,
And half the country boasts your name;
But who that dimpling chin supplied,
And lent your cheeks their rosy pride,
With hair of jet your temples graced,
And with a slender shape your waist?
Thyself, had'st thou thus beauteous made,
To thee the praise were duly paid;
But since the Power that fashioned thee,
With the same hand created me,
Who might have touched my frame like thine,
And left thee one deformed as mine,—
For what thou art, that Power adore,
And sneer at my odd shape no more!