Page:Five Russian plays and one Ukrainian.pdf/61

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The Beautiful Despot
39

and rubbed her belly with camphorated oil; but you’ll have to bleed her, as sure as life. (Maid brings in a long lit tobacco-pipe.)

Companion (beckoning at Fool with a biscuit): Chick, chick, chick, chick.

Master: Poor little doggie! However could it have happened? (Smokes. Fool scrambles up to Companion, who pulls his ear.)

Companion: Ah, you good-for-nothing. You like to play cards, but you don’t like to be smacked for forfeits. Where did you run away to when you lost? (Fool squeals.) I’ll show you! I’ll show you! I’ll show you!

Fool: I’ll set the house on fire! I’ll set the house on fire! (Runs after Maid and pulls her braids.) Bom! Bom-bom-bom! Bom-bom-bom-bom!

Maid: Let go! Let go, you nasty thing! D’you hear, let go! Egórich, take him away.

Fool: I’m ringing the alarm. Fire! We’re alight! Bom - bom - bom - bom! Bom - bom - bom - bom! (Exit Maid. Servant beats him.) Tt, you! One foot in the grave, and still fighting! (Goes back to his monkey.)

Companion: But what if he really does set the house on fire? What will happen?