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Obvious
"Say, Clarence, what breed are the fire-dogs?"
"Dachshund, of course; you can tell by the legs."
He Knew the Places
IN the days of his youth, befo' de wah, it had been the privilege of Uncle Eph Slater to attend his master, as body-servant, upon several extended journeys. In his later years the old man's recollections of his travels became his dearest possession, and he never tired of relating his experiences to any one who would listen. To mention the name of another town or locality was enough to start him on his reminiscences, and so jealous did he grow of his reputation as a traveller that he always declared he had visited the place in question whether he had or not. It is probable that his ideas as to what he had or had not seen were very vague.
One day an acquaintance. Deacon Thompson, met Uncle Eph on the street and told him of the arrival in the village of the new schoolma'am, whose acquirements, lie had heard, were of a high order.
"Hm," said Uncle Eph, "yeh don' say: yeh don' say. I wunner now hez de young lady had much trabbel?"
"I dun'no 'bout dat," replied the deacon, "but my Lize tells me she dun been troo Buttony, Algerbar, 'n' Latin."
"Uh-huh," said Uncle Eph, reflectively, and not in the least nonplussed, "I riccollicks dem little places, foh she; but it was night w'en we passed troo 'em, an' Marse Richard he 'lowed it wuzn't wuth while stoppin' off." E. D.
The Something
IF she were any one but she,
She'd say, "Forgive me, please";
If he were any one but he.
He'd go upon his knees.
Something stands between the two—
She cannot speak, he cannot sue.
Yes, she is she, and will not wear
Regrets upon her sleeve;
And he is he, and will not dare
To guess at her reprieve:
Can she be true, or he be bold,
When Cupid shivers in the cold?
ENVOY
Tides come in and tides go out.
Summer bloom displaces snow;
Ice must melt when Love's about,
No shadow stays when roses blow;
A white rose gleams upon her breast
By way of truce; Love does the rest.
