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Now, it happened when Wise Willie turned old, that he took a great swelling in his wame, spueing up his kail, collops, and cauld fish, and naething wad stay on his stomach; and a stout stomach he had, for crabs' heads and scate broo, or brose on a bridal morning yet it fail'd him, and he fell sick. Nane could cure him, nor tell what ail'd him, till a mountebank stage-doctor came to Kirkcaldy, who judged by people's piss the trouble of their person. Wise Willie hearing of his fame, pissed into the bottle, and sent it to him with his daughter. The bottle being uncorked, his daughter spilt it by the way, and, to conceal her sloth in so doing, pissed in it herself. Then on she goes, till she came to the stage-doctor, where she cried out aloud, Sir Doctor, Sir Doctor, here is a bottle of my father's wash, he has a sair guts, and canna drite ony, but spues a' he eats. It's true I tell you, my dow. The doctor looks at it, and says, it's not your father's surely, it's your mither's. The deil's in the man, said she, divna I ken my father
