Page:History of India Vol 1.djvu/344

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286
LIFE OF GAUTAMA BUDDHA

solved to leave his home and his wife to study philosophy and religion. In the midst of his prosperity, position, and wealth, he felt a secret yearning after something higher, which neither wealth nor position could satisfy; and an irresistible desire to seek for a remedy for the sufferings of men arose in his heart even amid the luxuries of his palace home. It is said that the sight of a decrepit old man, of a sick man, of a decaying corpse, and of a dignified hermit led him to form his resolution to quit his home. The story, whether well-founded or not, represents in a concrete shape the thoughts that arose in his mind with regard to the woes of a worldly life, and the holy calm of a retired existence.

At this very time a son was born to him, but it is said that when the news was announced to him in a garden on the riverside, he only exclaimed, "This is a new, strong tie that I shall have to break."

That night he repaired to the threshold of his wife's chamber, and there by the light of the flickering lamp he gazed on a scene of perfect bliss. The young mother lay surrounded by flowers, with one hand on the infant's head. A yearning arose in his heart to take the babe in his arms for the last time before relinquishing all earthly bliss, but this he might not do, lest the mother awake and by her importunities and tears unnerve his heart and shake his resolution. Silently he tore himself away from the blissful sight, and in that one eventful moment, in the silent darkness of the night, he renounced for ever his wealth and posi-