go; and if I had not taken it then, as I could not well have got out of the government, I should have shared in the disgrace of next session. It is a great field, too, if I bring about the union, and stay for a year to meet the united assembly, and set them to work. On the other hand, in England there is little to be done by me. At the Exchequer, all that can be hoped is to get through some BAD TAX. There is no chance of carrying the house with one for any great commercial reforms, timber, corn, sugar, &c. party and private interests will prevent it. If Peel were in, he might do this, as he could muzzle or keep away his tory allies, and we should support him. If he got in, and had courage, what a field for him! But he has not! On private grounds, I think it good too! 'Tis strange, how ever, that the office which was once the object of my highest ambition (the Exchequer), should now be so disagreeable to me, that I will give up the cabinet and Parliament to avoid it. After all, the House of Commons and Manchester are no longer what they were to me. I do not think I have improved in speaking—rather gone back. Perhaps in opposition, with more time to prepare, I might rally again; but I do not feel sure of it, I am grown rather nervous about it. The interruption and noise which prevails so much in the house cows me. I have certainly made no great speech for two years. It is clear, from what has passed, I might have kept Manchester as long as I liked. But till put to the test by my leaving it, one could not help feeling nervous and irritated by the constant complaints of not going far enough or going too far. The last three years have made a great change in me. My health, I suppose, is at the bottom of it."
This was written in a desponding tone for a man of acknowledged abilities, and only forty years of age. But he had been nine years in office, and believed that only in office could his talents be usefully employed. His despondency might be justly attributed to ill health, but he
