Page:Hopkinson Smith--In Dickens's London.djvu/35

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"'Get on your bonnet,' repeated Wardle.

"'Do nothing of the kind,' said Jingle. 'Leave the room, Sir—no business here—lady's free to act as she pleases more than one and twenty.'

"'More than one-and-twenty!' ejaculated Wardle, contemptuously. 'More than one and forty!'

"I a'n't,' said the spinster aunt, her indignation getting the better of her determination to faint.

"'You are,' replied Wardle, 'you're fifty if you're an hour.'

"Here the spinster aunt uttered a loud shriek, and became senseless.

"'A glass of water,' said the humane Mr. Pickwick, summoning the landlady.

"'A glass of water!' said the passionate Wardle. 'Bring a bucket, and throw it all over her; it'll do her good, and she richly deserves it.'

"'Ugh, you brute!' ejaculated the kind-hearted landlady. 'Poor dear.' And with sundry ejaculations, of 'Come now, there's a dear—drink a little of this—it'll do you good—don't give way so—there's a love,' &c., &c., the landlady, assisted by a chambermaid, proceeded to vinegar the forehead, beat the hands, titillate the nose, and unlace the stays of the spinster aunt, and to administer such other restoratives as are usually applied by compassionate females to ladies who are endeavouring to ferment themselves into hysterics.

'"Coach is ready, Sir,' said Sam, appearing at the door.

'"Come along,' cried Wardle. 'I'll carry her down stairs.'"