40 Prayers and Meditations.
Since the last reception of the sacrament I hope I have no otherwise grown worse than as continuance in sin makes the sinner's condition more dangerous.
Since last New Year's Eve I have risen every morning by eight, at least not after nine, which is more superiority over my habits than I have ever before been able to obtain. Scruples still distress me. My resolution, with the blessing of God, is to contend with them, and, if I can, to conquer them. My resolutions are
To conquer scruples.
To read the Bible this year.
To try to rise more early.
To study Divinity.
To live methodically.
To oppose idleness.
To frequent Divine worship.
Almighty and most merciful Father ! before whom I now appear laden with the sins of another year, suffer me yet again to call upon Thee for pardon and peace.
God ! grant me repentance, grant me reformation. Grant that I may be no longer distracted with doubts, and harassed with vain terrors. Grant that I may no longer linger in per plexity, nor waste in idleness that life which Thou hast given and preserved. Grant that I may serve Thee in firm faith and diligent endeavour, and that I may discharge the duties of my calling with tranquillity and constancy. Take not, O God, Thy holy Spirit from me : but grant that I may so direct my life by Thy holy laws, as that, when Thou shalt call me hence, I may pass by a holy and happy death to a life of everlasting and unchangeable joy, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
1 went to bed (at) one or later ; but did not sleep, tho' I knew not why.
65.
Easter Day, March 30, 1766. I rose in the morning. Prayed. Took my prayer book to tea ; drank tea ; planned my devotion for the church. I think prayed again. Went to church, was
early
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