Canto 4.
LE LUTRIN.
39
Consult with Father Bauny; he alone
With me is twenty Anstins, all in One:
Go then and Rumage all Antiquity,
If any footsteps there, of Pulpits be;
We've time enough e're day! fall to your task,
No longer space than till day-break we ask:
So many Heads, and hands I doubt not, can
Before Sun-rise peruse the Vatican!
This uncouth motion startled all that heard it,
Till fat-guts Everard open'd, and quite marr'd it:
With me is twenty Anstins, all in One:
Go then and Rumage all Antiquity,
If any footsteps there, of Pulpits be;
We've time enough e're day! fall to your task,
No longer space than till day-break we ask:
So many Heads, and hands I doubt not, can
Before Sun-rise peruse the Vatican!
This uncouth motion startled all that heard it,
Till fat-guts Everard open'd, and quite marr'd it:
A wise device! (quoth he) And pray, what Gains
Shall answer all this Cumber, all these pains?
For one poor lowzy Pew, to break our Brains:
'Tis more Ingenious to Study Meat,
Let his Thin Chops his Musty Authors Eat!
We've other Fish to fry! I am a man
That Read alike Bible and Alchoran!
If I can learn what Rents my Tenants owe;
When Mortgag'd Vineyards forfeited do grow;
Can I precisely learn the Quarters day,
When wooden Shooes trudge up their dues to pay;
There lies my Talent! I no Learning lack,
But what is enter'd in my Almanack.
Imprimis, fifty Marks a year in Ground-Rents;
Item, twice fifty more Per-ann. in Pound-Rents!
When Wheat, and Mault in crowded Garners lie,
I boast me of a well-stor'd Library!
Why vex we then Dead Fathers, Greeks and Lattins?
Our Mother Tongue will serve to Mumble Mattins;
I'le ask no help of Scotus to pull down
A Pulpit! This great Arm the Work shall Crown.
All's one to me, let Arnold judge or quit me,
I'le hit him home agen, whoe're dares hit me:
Shall answer all this Cumber, all these pains?
For one poor lowzy Pew, to break our Brains:
'Tis more Ingenious to Study Meat,
Let his Thin Chops his Musty Authors Eat!
We've other Fish to fry! I am a man
That Read alike Bible and Alchoran!
If I can learn what Rents my Tenants owe;
When Mortgag'd Vineyards forfeited do grow;
Can I precisely learn the Quarters day,
When wooden Shooes trudge up their dues to pay;
There lies my Talent! I no Learning lack,
But what is enter'd in my Almanack.
Imprimis, fifty Marks a year in Ground-Rents;
Item, twice fifty more Per-ann. in Pound-Rents!
When Wheat, and Mault in crowded Garners lie,
I boast me of a well-stor'd Library!
Why vex we then Dead Fathers, Greeks and Lattins?
Our Mother Tongue will serve to Mumble Mattins;
I'le ask no help of Scotus to pull down
A Pulpit! This great Arm the Work shall Crown.
All's one to me, let Arnold judge or quit me,
I'le hit him home agen, whoe're dares hit me:
Fie
