No, but I just remember I was laying down on the Minister's couch. So I was really, really drunk and the world felt like it was spinning and I thought I was going to die…
481 Ms Higgins at trial denied she remembered (that is, had a real memory) of laying down on the Minister's couch in the private office, although the above extract has a degree of tension with this evidence. Before me, after being on the ledge, the next thing Ms Higgins said she remembers (or, as she put it, the next "touchpoint") is only when she awakes on the Minister's couch.
482 Despite its length and graphic nature, it is appropriate to set out her next memories in some detail. She explained (T628.23–28):
So the first thing I remember when I woke up was a pain in my leg; that was the thing that kind of stirred me up. Bruce was on top of me. I was – so my head was in the back corner of the couch. He was on top of me, his arms were over the top of the couch. He was having sex with me at that point in time. And that was what I first woke up to at that point in time and is, like, the next touchpoint that I have. It's the next thing.
483 She was asked to describe where her head was located on the couch. She said (T628.36–40):
I was lodged in between the armrest and the back of the couch. My head was jammed in the corner and he was on top of me, over – he wasn't looking at me, he was lurched over the top of me. I was spread open and exposed. I had one leg open, on the side of the couch, and then one open, which is where his knee was, in my leg.
484 After being asked to further describe what she recollected, Ms Higgins went on (T629.29–45):
I told him "No", on a loop. I don't know how many times I said it. I told him to stop. I couldn't – I couldn't scream for some reason. I don't know, it was just, like, trapped in my throat; I couldn't do it. I know I felt really, like, waterlogged and heavy and I couldn't – I couldn't move. I was under the impression it had been going on for, like a little bit of time. I used the expression, like, "I was – I was late to the party". Yes, I felt like it had been going on for a little while and I was only, kind of, coming to right at the end.
I just – it seemed like he was going quite fast and he kind of seemed a bit sweaty, or I don't know, maybe I was the one who was sweaty. But it, like, it wasn't – there was no, like – there was no, like – it – he was very much in the throes of it. It was very much rough and happening, and it didn't matter that I was talking or awake or whatever, it just felt like he was doing it and – like, it didn't matter, like I was an afterthought, like, he was – it felt like he was going to climax soon, or, like it had been going on for a while and that he was – I don't know. I don't know if "speeding up" is the right word, I don't know. Yes, that's – that was my impression at the time. Yes.
