Page:Letters from Abroad to Kindred at Home (Volume 1).djvu/29

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
26
VENTNOR.

Its breath from side to side above the bench
Is just eleven feet and half an inch.
The height, from pavement to ceiling mortar,
Eleven feet, five inches and a quarter.
And its length, from east to west end,
Twenty-five feet four inches, quarter three,
Is just its measurement, as you may see."

The poet-beadle's brains, you may think, were graduated by the same scale as St. Lawrence's Church. However, I assure you he was quite the beau-ideal of an old beadle, and he did his ciceroni work well, showing us where his lordship sat (Lord Yarborough, in whose gift is the rectorship), and where sat the butler, and my lady's maid, and the parish officers. All these privileged people, who dwell in the atmosphere of nobility, had, to the old beadle's senses, something sweeter than the odour of sanctity. For the rest of St Lawrence's audience, I fear they do not fare as well as the people in Doctor Franklin's dream, who, upon confessing to St Peter at the gate of Heaven that they were neither Baptists nor Methodists, nor of any particular sect, were bidden come in and take the best seats they could find!

Among the epitaphs I read on the mouldering stones in St. Lawrence's churchyard, was one that pleased me for its quaint old ballad style. It was a husband's on his wife, beginning

"Meek and gentle were her spirit,
Prudence did her life adorn,
Modest, she disclaimed all merit,
Tell me, am not I forlorn?"