were not equivalent to my deserts, Your Majesty knows I demurred at accepting.
Your Majesty commanded, however, that I should accept them, saying they were not in payment for my services, but to demonstrate your disposition to favour me, for Your Majesty would do as those who when shooting with the crossbow, begin by firing beside the mark, but end by piercing the bull's-eye, for the favours Your Majesty conferred upon me were outside the mark, but would improve until they struck the bull's-eye of my deserts. I was also assured that nothing should be taken from me, and that I must accept what was given me; hence I kissed Your Majesty's hands in gratitude. When you turned your back, all that I had was taken from me, nor were Your Majesty's promises to me fulfilled, for since Your Majesty has such a good memory, you will not have forgotten that besides these words and the promises Your Majesty made me, I possess still more and greater ones in Your Majesty's letters, signed with your Royal name. If my services up to that time merited such acts and the promises Your Majesty made me, they have not since then diminished, for I have never ceased to increase the patrimony of these kingdoms, and had it not been for the thousand obstacles opposed to me, I would have accomplished as much since I received Your Majesty's favours, as I had before done to merit them. I do not know wherefore the promised benefits are now withheld, nor why I am deprived of those I possessed. And if it be said that nothing has been taken since I still possess something, I reply that to have nothing, or to have useless possessions, is one and the same thing, for what I have produces me nothing; better were it to have nothing at all than to have to use its profits to defend myself against Your Majesty's fiscal officers, which indeed is harder than it was to win the country from the Indians. Thus my labour has procured me peace of mind for having done my duty, but has brought me no profit, for not only am I without rest in my old age, but work on until my death, should it not please God to finish me now; for he who is so occupied in defending his body must needs neglect his soul.
I beseech Your Majesty not to requite such conspicuous