vives esteem with difficulty, or rather, it does not survive it,
except in prolonging its existence by convulsions," Here, in
her, is the history of that fatal passion ; the degrees of which
were so rapid that we can scarcely distinguish them. She
was then (must we tell it ?) nearly forty years old. She was
bitterly regretting the departure of M. de Mora — that true
man of delicacy and feeling, that truly superior man —
when she involved herself in loving M. de Guibert, the false
great man, but who was present and seductive. Her first
letter is dated Saturday evening. May 15, 1773. M. de Gui-
bert was about to start on a long journey through Germany,
Prussia, and, possibly, Eussia. We have his own printed
" Eelation " of this journey, and it is curious to put these
witty, practical, often instructive and sometimes emphatic and
sentimental notes side by side with the letters of his ardent
friend. Before he departs he has already done her some
wrong. He had said he would leave Tuesday, May 18th,
then Wednesday, but he did not start till Thursday, the 20 th,
and his friend knew nothing of it. It is evident that she
was not the one to receive his last thought, his last farewell.
She suffers already, and blames herself for suffering ; she has
just received a letter from M. de Mora, full of confidence in
her love ; she is ready to sacrifice everything to him, " but,"
she adds, " for the last two months I have had no sacrifice to
make to him." She thinks she still loves M. de Mora ; that
she can stop and immolate at will the new feeling which de-
taches and drags her away from him. M. de Mora absent,
ill, faithful, writes to her, and each letter reopens her wound
and quickens her remorse. What will it be when, returning
to her, he falls ill and dies on his way at Bordeaux ? Thus,
until the end, we find her torn in her delirium between the
need, the desire to die for M. de Mora, and the desire to live
for M. de Guibert. " Do you conceive, mon ami, the species
Page:Letters of Mlle. de Lespinasse.djvu/25
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
This page needs to be proofread.
10
INTRODUCTION.