Page:Life of Octavia Hill as told in her letters.djvu/173

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I wanted to ask two still more difficult questions but really ought not to trouble you more. Oh that you were in London that I might ask you ! No ! I am glad you are resting. And truly too, I don't depend on your advice, but I know our Father has thousands of ways to teach me, if only my stubborn will and foolish fancies don't blind me.

God bless you all. I hope Mrs. Maurice is better. Please don't answer if you are busy or tired. Is it really difficult to tell what is right ? Or is it only that one will not see the truth ? Or does one not pray trustfully enough ?

The classes are going on steadily and well. I am very well too ; and dear Mama and Minnie are having happy holidays. I am all alone.

Octavia to Rev. F. D. Maurice.

I cannot attempt to express the thankfulness I feel for your kindness in answering my letter, perhaps most of all for the first words, "You should never apologise for asking my opinion," because it seems as if it might be understood to have reference to our baptism ; and although I quite feel the help you would give to everyone to be the most precious, and don't want any special right to more than you would give to others, yet I often feel as if I very much wanted to be sure that I was not wrong in asking you questions about our own life, which I do not feel wise enough, or old enough, to decide myself, and which I cannot trust, though I sometimes do leave, to the decision of others. It is not about questions referring to faith that I feel this most. I know always about this to Whom I can go, and thank God ! for some years (until this