her body, all the pains that Our Lord had experienced during his life; and, that it may be better understood. I will relate what she told us on the subject. She frequently conversed with me on the sufferings of our Lord, and assured me that from the moment of his conception, he had always borne the Cross in his soul, on account of the desire that he felt for the salvation of souls. He must have suffered cruelly until he had established, by his Passion, the honor of God and the happiness of the neighbor — and this torment of desire, is very great, those who have experienced it, know that it is the heaviest of crosses.
She also gave on the words of our Lord in the garden of Olives, an explanation that I do not remember to have read in any author. She said that by the words: "Father, let this chalice pass from me," (Matt. xxvi. 39) persons enlightened and fortified by grace ought not to believe, like feeble souls who fear death, that the Saviour implored to be spared his Passion: he had drunk from his birth, and according as the hour approached he drank more deeply that chalice of desire which animated him for the salvation of men. He rather implored the accomplishment of what he so ardently wished, the filling up of that Cup whose bitterness he had so long tasted. He was far from dreading his Passion and death, he on the contrary wished to advance the moment; he expressed this clearly when he said to Judas: Quod facis, fac citius " what thou do, do quickly." (John xiii. 27) But although that chalice of desire was the most painful to drink, he added in his filial obedience; "Nevertheless not my will but thine be done." Verumtamen non mea voluntas, sed tua fiat. He thus offered to suffer all the delays that it would please God to require in his Passion.
