370 'GOD'S PEACE"
I find the corner that may be my sanctuary ? Either I roam through the empty streets of the old town or I walk myself tired along the steep paths of Rough-Hill. Everywhere my loss follows me like a greedy raven, shrieking hoarsely in my ear, ready to pierce my heart with its sharp beak. I cannot find the house, the place, the tree, which does not cry out to me my loss. ' Remember, last time you were here she was with you ; now you are alone and she will never be with you again. Here you sat with her talking of your happiness, dream- ing of your future, but all you said, thought, and dreamt, was summer and sun, life and joy. Now earth covers her and your dream has vanished with the cold touch of death.'
I have sought peace in the reading-room of the monastery where before my mind was soothed by memories from bygone days. But there again the raven sat on my shoulder : ' Why, young monk, let your eyes rest longingly on the tree behind the wall ? Stay where you are. Nobody waits for you when darkness falls over the monastery. In the garden all the nightingales are silent, and in the old tree only the raven builds his nest."
I have been to the well-garden, but I dare not go there again. It seemed to me the children grew silent when they saw me, and in their big eyes I read sad questions. . . . 'Where is she, she who always came with you before, and who was so sweet to us ? You must never come here alone ; you must go and fetch her.'
