Page:Mad pranks of Tom Tram, son in law to Mother Winter.pdf/22

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TALE II.

ONE that was going to a wedding had a great occaſion to untruſs a point; whereupon he went under a hedge, but the place not pleaſing him, he went under a hayſtack and then into a ſaw-pit, and afterwards into a hog-ſtye, where he did his buſineſs. Now the other clowns that were with him, asked him if he had done his taſk and day's labour: Yes, quoth he, I have ſhit three fhillings in nine-pences, go and fetch them they are more than a day's labour will come to. So they went on the wedding houſe, and when they came thiter, they were making a reckoning for the fidler, and every one gave what he lifted. Oh, quoth one of them, if you want money to make up the reckoning, here is one that can ſhite three ſhillings in nine-pences. If he can, quoth the gueſt, let him bring them hither in his mouth, for I fear they are of ſo ſoft a metal, that they will melt in ſpite of his teeth, So after they had danced a while, a fart was let; whereupon ſays one, this fart was full charged, for it yeilded a large rent; meaning his ſhirt.

TALE III.

DOWN in the weſt country a certain conceited fellow had a great noſe; ſo a country-man by him with a ſack of corn,