It was at this time of diftreſs, that Mr. S* returned; whom I had not ſeen for near three weeks: you may eaſily imagine, that the preſent he brought, was welcome and not refuſed now: he made many apologies for his abſence; told me, he had been on a journey, which kept him ſo long from me; began to talk much of love, and to make me, such offers, as I fear, many women, in my ſad ſtate, could not have refuſed. The ſevere, I know, will condemn me; they cannot condemn me ſo much as I condemn myſelf. But any alternative was preferable to a return to my parents, as I had no hopes of any ſucceſs, or admiſſion. And I could not bear to ſee my pretty innocent either taken from me, or ill-treated: much leſs could I bear to ſee it under the miseries of want. However I held out, as long as my money remained, and then the proſpect of bitter neceſſity, and being again turned from my lodgings, (for I had quitted the former at the time appointed, nor could I have ſtayed with the ſavage landlady on any account) this ſad and terrifying proſpect got the better of my reſolution; and I made the firſt ſtep in known and voluntary guilt.
When this is the caſe, the conſcience begins to grow hardened, or however we are leſs diſguſted at vice, and are not afraid to grow familiar with it. Mr. S* was very looſe in his principles: and I grew looſe as himſelf.
