Page:Martin Chuzzlewit.djvu/467

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MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT.
391

"It ain't long, since I shot a man down with that, Sir, in the State of Illinoy'," observed Chollop.

"Did you, indeed!" said Mark, without the smallest agitation. "Very free of you. And very independent!"

"I shot him down Sir," pursued Chollop, "for asserting in the Spartan Portico, a tri-weekly journal, that the ancient Athenians went a-head of the present Locofoco Ticket."

"And what's that?" asked Mark.

"Europian not to know," said Chollop, smoking placidly. "Europian quite!"

After a short devotion to the interests of the magic circle, he resumed the conversation by observing:

"You won't half feel yourself at home in Eden, now?"

"No," said Mark, "I don't."

"You miss the imposts of your country. You miss the house dues?" observed Chollop.

"And the houses—rather," said Mark.

"No window dues here Sir," observed Chollop.

"And no windows to put 'em on," said Mark.

"No stakes, no dungeons, no blocks, no racks, no scaffolds, no thumb-screws, no pikes, no pillories," said Chollop.

"Nothing but rewolvers and bowie knives," returned Mark. "And what are they? Not worth mentioning!"

The man who had met them on the night of their arrival came crawling up at this juncture, and looked in at the door.

"Well, Sir!" said Chollop. "How do you git along?"

He had considerable difficulty in getting along at all, and said as much in reply.

"Mr. Co And me, Sir," observed Chollop, "are disputating a piece. He ought to be slicked up pretty smart, to disputate between the Old World and the New, I do expect?"

"Well!" returned the miserable shadow. "So he had."

"I was merely observing, Sir," said Mark, addressing this new visitor, "that I looked upon the city in which we have the honour to live, as being swampy. What's your sentiments?"

"I opinionate it's moist, perhaps, at certain times," returned the man.

"But not as moist as England, Sir?" cried Chollop, with a fierce expression in his face.

"Oh! Not as moist as England; let alone its Institutions," said the man.

"I should hope their ain't a swamp in all Americay, as don't whip that small island into mush and molasses," observed Chollop, decisively. "You bought slick, straight, and right away, of Scadder, Sir?" to Mark.

He answered in the affirmative. Mr. Chollop winked at the other citizen.

"Scadder is a smart man, Sir? He is a rising man? He is a man as will come up'ards, right side up Sir?" Mr. Chollop winked again at the other citizen.