Page:Max Havelaar; or, the Coffee Auctions of the Dutch Trading Company (IA dli.granth.77827).pdf/419

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400
Max Havelaar

“expected so soon——you have, as I think, heard this news at Serang,—and at the same time that the Resident was astonished that I, in the very peculiar position in which I am, have not yet asked to be allowed to transfer the Government to you. Nothing could be more agreeable to me than this news, for I need not assure you, that I, who have declared myself unable to serve otherwise than I have done, who have been punished for this way of serving with censure,[1] with a ruinous and discreditable transfer, with an order to betray the poor men who confided in my good faith, with the choice also between dishonour and starvation. . . . that I had to consider with pains and care, everything if it was in harmony with my duty, and that the most simple matter was difficult for me, placed as I was between my conscience and the principles of the Government, to which I owe fidelity as long as I am not freed from my functions. This difficulty showed itself principally in the reply which I had to give to plaintiffs.

“I had once promised to betray nobody to the rancour of his chiefs;—once I had, imprudently enough, given my word for the justice of the Government.

“The poor population could not know that this promise and this bail had been denied, and that I, poor and impotent, stood alone with my desire for justice and humanity.

“And people went on complaining. It was painful,

  1. Literally—“For the manner in which I served.”