Mr. H——— continu'd kind and tender to me, yet, with all this I was far from happy; for, besides my regrets for my dear youth, which though often suspended, or diverted, still return'd upon me in certain melancholic moments with redoubl'd violence, I wanted more society, more dissipation.
As to Mr. H———, he was so much my superior in every sense, that I felt it too much to the disadvantage of the gratitude I ow'd him, thus he gain'd my esteem though he could not raise my taste; I was qualify'd for no sort of conversation with him, except one sort, and that is a satisfaction which leaves tiresome intervals, if not fill'd up by love, or other amusements.
Mr. H———, so experienc'd, so learned in the ways of women, numbers of whom had past through his hands, doubtless soon perceiv'd this uneasiness, and without approving or liking me the better for it, had the complaisance to indulge me.
