Page:Memoirs of the Lady Hester Stanhope.djvu/226

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Memoirs of

with her by day or by night, to relieve the tedium of her solitary situation. But her dismantled room, her ragged clothes, her altered appearance—and, above all, her pride, compromised as it was by these unfortunate circumstances—always made her turn off the subject, although her secret feelings must have often prompted her to avail herself of the solace thus frankly and cordially offered to her. The exclamation by which she usually evaded the proposal was, "Oh! how I hate everything Frankified! how I hate everything Frankified!" or, "I must not see them until I get into my saloon." After about half an hour I left her. "I must see nobody this evening," she added; "so good bye!"

I went home, and, for the first time, told my family how ill Lady Hester was. Alas! I had not dared to do so before: she had enjoined me not. "To say I am ill," she would observe, "would be bringing a host of creditors upon me, and I should not be able to get food to eat." Consequently, I had kept them and everybody, as much as I could, in ignorance of the real state of her health; indeed, there was too much truth in what she said not to make me see the mischief such a disclosure would entail. She had now only twenty pounds left in the house to provide for the consumption of two months; and, as her pension was stopped, there was every probability she would be