Page:Memorials of Capt. Hedley Vicars, Ninety-seventh Regiment by Marsh, Catherine, 1818-1912.djvu/42

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36
CONVERSION.

us ask Him to show as the selfish state of our hearts. I have found comparatively little trouble in giving up external sins, but the innate sin of my heart, oh, how great it is! It is here the real battle must be fought, and the more humbling is the sense of our vileness, the more we shall feel the need and value of a Saviour. We all have our temptations, and in scarcely any profession could they more beset the Christian beginner, than in the army.

"But let us remember, whatever be our calling, God has promised that we shall not be tempted above that we are able to bear. Only let us feel that we are unable of ourselves to resist evil, or to do anything good: lot us look to Christ, and trust in Him alone, and take up our cross, and follow Him. We must give up the pleasures of the world for they unfit us for spiritual meditation: and although they may be hard to part with, as a right eye or right hand, there is no alternative, if we wish to grow in grace.

"You will, perhaps, be surprised, as you read this letter, at the change which has come over me. Yes, I believe and I feel that I am a changed man; that I have taken the important step of declaring on whose side I will be. Oh, that I could persuade you to enrol yourself with me on the side of Jesus Christ!

"As Newton says, I know what the world can do, and what it cannot do.' It cannot give or take away that peace of God which passeth all understanding. It cannot soothe the wounded conscience, nor enable us to meet death with comfort. I have tried both services. For twenty-four years have I lived under the thraldom of sin, led by the devil. None need despair of being welcomed by the Saviour when he has pardoned and brought to repentance such a sinner as I have been. The retrospect of my past life is now miserable to me; yet before I was taught by the Spirit of God, I thought and called it a life of pleasure! The very name, when applied to sin,